Influence vs. Manipulation: Navigating the Ethics of Persuasion Tactics

Many of us spend about 60% of our day influencing others. Everything from trying to get your kids ready in the morning to convincing your team members at work meet deadlines to trying to get a friend to go out for a coffee. As parents we may reward out children when they complete chores.  In organizations, rewards are often tied to results. Do the rewards encourage better behaviour? In many cases it does. It is influence or manipulation? Additionally, when does this influence veer into manipulation and if it shows up as manipulation, is it really negative all the time?

Influence and manipulation are two methods of affecting other people’s thoughts, behaviours, or decisions. While they can sometimes appear similar, they differ significantly in their intentions, methods, and ethical implications.

At this point it’s probably a good idea to examine some definitions for both under these three criterion:

INFLUENCE

Intentions: The aim of influence is generally to persuade others in a way that is mutually beneficial or at least not harmful. Influencers typically seek to create positive outcomes for both themselves and those they are influencing.

Methods: Influence relies on transparent, honest communication and ethical persuasion techniques. It often involves sharing information, building trust, demonstrating expertise, and appealing to logic, emotions, or values in an open manner.

Ethical Implications: Influence is considered ethical because it respects the autonomy and rationality of the person being influenced. It involves giving people the information they need to make their own informed decisions.

Examples:

A teacher encouraging students to study hard by explaining the long-term benefits of education and sharing personal experiences of success due to diligent study. This is a win-win”.

If I am adapting my personality so that I could more easily create rapport with you, it’s a “win -win”. 

MANIPULATION

Intentions: The goal of manipulation is USUALLY* self-serving and can disregard the well-being of the manipulated individual. Manipulators seek to control or deceive others for personal gain.

Methods: Manipulation uses deceptive, coercive, or misleading tactics. It can involve withholding information, lying, emotional exploitation, or playing on insecurities and fears to achieve the desired outcome.

Ethical Implications: Manipulation is GENERALLY* considered unethical because it undermines the autonomy and rationality of the person being manipulated. It often exploits vulnerabilities and results in harm or disadvantage to the manipulated party.

Examples:

A salesperson using high-pressure tactics and misleading information to convince a customer to buy a product they do not need or cannot afford. 

Telling your boss what he/she wants to hear so that they could get off your back. This is a “I win-You lose” situation

There are both “I win-you lose” situation or quite possibly “lose-lose”.

KEY DIFFERENCES

While both influence and manipulation seek to change behaviors or decisions, we may conclude that influence is transparent and honest and aims for mutual benefit, whereas manipulation involves deceit and exploitation and is often self serving and harmful. But is it?

PLAYING DEVIL’S ADVOCATE

The question is this; is manipulation always negative? My answer is NO!! This is the reason I highlighted the words USUALLY* and GENERALLY* in the section on manipulation above.

Here are just a few examples of what i’m referring to:

• Magicians and illusionists use manipulation to entertain a crowd.
• Parents may say untruths to their children to get a specific behaviour.
• Police use questioning tactics to manipulate a criminal in an effort to poke holes in their story or to get them to admit to crime.
• In medicine, placebo works and can be used wisely to work for patients.

If I were running a country and I told other leaders that I had a nuclear weapon, just to keep everyone at bay, would I be wrong? Is this a win-win? I will leave this here.

WHAT IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY?

The real issue is not to compare influence and manipulation since they both fall under the umbrella of influence and we have seen that manipulation is not negative every time. The difference is really between positive and negative influence!!  What truly matters is the INTENT behind the action. If the goal is a “win-win” outcome, it’s commendable. If it’s a “I win-you lose” scenario, it’s problematic. Ultimately, maintaining respect for others, being true to oneself, and upholding integrity are factors that would keep us on the right path.

Tony Ragoonanan is the Founder of  V-Formation Training & Development. As a  Performance Management Specialist and Emotional Intelligence Trainer, he helps individuals and organizations to align people, frameworks and outcomes. Outside of this, it’s all about family,  football, and fitness!!

868-681-3492 | tonyr0909@gmail.com